Bitch please, I can totally match Ariana Grande’s vocal range. Just throw a cockroach at me
job interviewer: so…tell me a little about yourself :)
me: sure. i’m a virgo, INTJ, i love tank tops oh my god did you see the Anaconda video? that changed my life!
interviewer: bitch me too! the fuck. you got the job
what if u had an identical twin that did porn and u like went to the grocery and theyre like “omg i saw u take 3 dicks at once while wearing a turtle costume” and ur like “god dammit gary”
white/lightskin/racially ambiguous girl: i had a pimple one time and i was ugly and dying and everyone spit on me and i was exiled from society but then i used clean and clear and now i am a healed and whole person with jesus in my heart
- me on a spanish test: cómo se llama, bonita, mi casa, shakira shakira
Ripleys believe it or nah